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Thursday, March 29, 2012

Bored and Lonely

Hello World!


Oye, so I had my meeting with the Urologist about my Kidney stone. Which also included a meeting with the Anesthesiologist. And the consensus is NOOOO!!!! Ha. My lungs are far to shitty to put under general anesthesia. There was talk of doing a spinal-epidural type procedure but I'm no fully on board with that. Anxiety through the roof! SO my CF doctor is going to talk to my Transplant doctor and see if we can hold off until after transplant like we originally wanted to do. Not sure what they'll say.

Otherwise no real updates. I am starting to feel better. But I would be more concerned if I wasn't. I'm incredibly annoyed with the Hospital and their new food-beverage program. Its all LowCal, LowFat, SugarFree. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO EAT!?!

I miss my home cooked food from my Dad, I miss my dog, I miss watching TV with my Mom. I am bored and lonely. Hopefully I get out of here soon. I'm not sure, mentally, how long I can stay in here. Its like being in isolation!

Breathe Easy

Friday, March 23, 2012

Needed a Break

Hello World!!

I know, I've been slacking in the blogging department. But I needed to withdraw from the internet world for a little bit. Its a great place to meet lots of people but it is still really important to have a life OUTSIDE the internet. I was losing myself too much and my mental health was taking a beating.

I'm very grateful for the CF community I've been lucky enough to become a part of, but hearing all the successful transplant stories lately was really getting to me. I just kept thinking "why not me?!" And I know my life is not anymore valuable than anyone elses, and I know I'll get the call in good time. But waiting is hard. Harder than I ever thought It'd be. I was worrying and stressing so much about 'waiting' I was causing more health problems for myself. I was becoming withdrawn, tired all the time, moody, snippy, and just overall not a fun person to be around.

So at my last CF clinic in Mid-Feb I was talking to my Doctor and we decided to take a break from reading about CF and Transplant for a little while. I needed to come back to reality and just think about me and no one else. Sounds selfish but sometimes thats just what you need to do.

Since my trip to Cleveland Clinic early this week I am feeling so much better!

It was just a routine follow up in Cleveland. They take blood and get my latest PFTS and stuff like that. When I was in taking to the doctor she told me there have been several lung offers come in but they just haven't been good after closer examination. I was so excited! I haven't really heard ANYTHING since being listed. It was so great to hear the lungs with my blood type are actually coming in! My size and blood type work against me. But to hear that there have actually been options really made me feel better. Even though my PFTs were down 8% and my 6 min walk was 400ft shorter than last time, hearing that news made everything better.

It just confirmed that those lungs are coming! And hopefully coming soon! I'm ready, o so ready!

As for right now, I feel like super shit. I'm going into the hospital Monday for some IVs. I'll also be talking with a Urologist about having minor surgery to get this kidney stone out of me. It has been acting up lately, so the Dr said to get it out before it becomes an emergency. So It'll be a fun admission. :/

Breathe Easy